Your Psychic Bitch

 So much for setting a standard with the Universe...   Last year I posted an entry where I begged for a few things and gave the Universe until January 2021 to provide.  Well, I got SOME answers and they didn't come until Virgo season.  I guess some are better than none. I had what felt like a non-productive 2021, however, now that I'm actually focusing on each month I've found that is not exactly true.  I was very progressive mentally and emotionally.  In the last entry, I mentioned that I was seeing and feeling things about my life that I didn't want to deal with, but had no choice.  I did end up facing it all. While in Virgo season I was getting a ton of repressed events popping back up to the surface through random conversations and mediations/naps.  I also lost some stress weight I gained in 2020 while napping, which was a first, so that's something positive.  Now I take the time to nap, meditate or be still every day. These memorie...

With 2021 around the corner, my energy automatically goes back in time, like mercury in retrograde.  I'm seeing shit.  I'm feeling shit I don't want to feel.  I'm haunted by the ghosts of the fake shit from my past AND present. One fake bitch always told me to "speak it into being" so here I go... I wish for and may actually have, but cannot see: Protection for my boys and I. The truth about who I am 100% Real ones/true love. Loyalty. When I was a kid my mother said to me, "You will be lucky to have one real, good friend in your life."  I thought she was just trying to teach me a simple lesson about random people.  No, she was being literal.  It really blows my mind and I'm not being dramatic either.  This is seriously the dealio.   So Universe, I have questions that I will keep to myself, but I do expect answers by January 1, 2021.   Thanks for reading.

Why do some of us live a lie? In relationships, some have chosen to lie about who they are knowing they wouldn't have a chance in Hell with someone or be able to keep them.  Some do it because they're afraid to be themselves due to anxiety,  mental illness, or some other major thing they need to conceal.  Finally, some lie for love.  They want to protect the object of their affection by pushing them away.  Sometimes the timing is just bad! Sometimes the truth just fucking hurts. Why do I love the moon so much when all it does is play make-believe? I am honest about who I am at the time I meet people, but in my defense, my perspective was skewed due to selfish, materialistic, evil demon seeds from Hell who wanted me to feel like shit about myself.  They wanted to create a narrative that was false in an effort to get people on their team.  Little did they know that they're only competing with themselves. In the last 20 years, my biggest mistake was carin...

It's always so interesting for me to read old blog entries from years ago.  How much did I learn and how much did I grow? What has changed since then?  Unfortunately, not enough has physically changed for me to be excited, but I did get some shit taken care of mentally. I no longer believe that "your vibe attracts your tribe."  I now know 100% that it's the light that attracts the dark.  It's the empaths that attract those disgusting narcissists.  In my case most of them were WOMEN.  This just makes me sick.  WTF bitches? Act right so y'all don't make the rest of us look BAD.  You are the reason good men get all fucked up and treat the rest of us like shit.  I've seen everything from horrible mothers to shrewd business bitches who are really just insecure brats that attach themselves to talented people because they can't do shit on their own.  If you can't be honest then you shouldn't be doing what you're doing.  You're going to f...